Thursday, May 5, 2011
What am I leaving behind?
The letters were written in a time of uncertainty for her. In them she reached out to her daughter for reassurance about the day to day and the uncertainty she was facing.
She spoke of the temporary room they were renting, as they moved back to their home town, prior to building a home.
She talked of the clothes line that had been hung from the upper floor window down to a tree below. I could see her whites flying in the wind in my mind. I could feel her uncertainty. How will this trial work out. Will we choose the right solutions?
Her letters felt almost like they were written to me. A dear friend, reaching out to me in my time of struggle, sharing her struggle. I felt so connected to her in that moment.
I feel such a love for her and for others that came before me. Good, brave women who have blazed the trail ahead of me.
Though my Great Grandmother has been gone since I was a child she feels like a friend. I believe that there is life after death. I believe in eternal families that will continue beyond the grave. I cannot see those who have gone before me with my eyes but, I feel them with my heart. I know they are there. I believe they are allowed to lift and comfort me.
My Great Grandmother's letters have reached through time and given me a connection to her beyond what I had. A connection of friendship. A connection of sisterhood. I see her in a new light. She is not an old woman sitting in her chair in my mind anymore. She is a vibrant woman, not much older than me facing trails and uncertainty.
I'll be anxiously watching the mail box for her next letter.